Wake Up In the Morning Feeling like …. shit.

Well WordPressers – ya almost lost me!


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought – man I should really write a post today … but between being a lazy millennial and a busy pseudo-businesswoman… lets just say my free time consists of little other than Netflix, my couch and my cats.

Happy two weeks and two days into 2014!

So my goal for this year is not to lose 100 lbs, or a “new and improved” me… all I want is to feel healthy.

This is how my day goes now

1. wake up – ALWAYS tired

2. drink red bull (gratuitous amounts)

3. get ready (hair clothes makeup)

4. drive to work (drinking red bull, smoking cigarettes)

5. work – sit in front of computer, eating, drinking … MORE RED BULL, counting the minutes until i die (JUST KIDDING)

6. drive home from work (usually i don’t stop for another red bull, i think we’re up to about 4 at this point)

7. park myself on the couch

8. watch TOO much Vanderpump Rules and RHOBH

9. order in (typically pizza, Chinese or whatever will deliver to my fat ass)

10. watch more T.V

11. get serious FOMO at around 11 (fear of missing out)

12. finally go to sleep around 1:30



So, as any 2 year old could see – the reason I don’t feel healthy is because I don’t LIVE  a healthy life style. The one problem I have with the “getting healthy” kick is that there are probably 103231326143614361435 ways to do said task.

Do I diet ? If so – weight watchers? south beach? my own diet? just eat less? try to figure out what “counting calories” is?

Do I exercise? Obviously yes but how? – gym membership (expensive), running/walking (this girl has a rack on her, so running it basically like getting punched in the face 1000 times), yoga (anyone who does yoga makes me hate myself), or I could always break out the copy of Carmen Electra’s stripperobics that my old roommate so kindly left behind.

One thing that is blatantly obvious is that I HAVE to stop drinking red bull, even sitting here at my desk with an 8.4 oz can staring back at me … I know I shouldn’t drink it, but I’m going to anyway.  It has absolutely stopped having its intended effect on me, for example – I am drank one at around 11:20 last night and was able to go to sleep.

So here is the question I pose to the wordpress world – what makes you FEEL HEALTHY??


Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

So …. by the title of this one might assume relationship troubles for this twentysomething, but true to my generation … I am talking about my iPhone. So here’s what happened: about a month ago, amidst a heated fight with my boyfriend, I dropped my precious device in the parking lot of a Walgreens. As I picked it up to continue to verbally thrash my completely incorrect boyfriend, my heart broke as I saw a spider web crack in the corner of the screen. To make matters worse, I got this phone less than 3 months ago. I sucked it up, but on my otterbox to avoid shards of glass in my cheek and I continued using it (there was no problem with the function of the phone).

Friday night, out of the blue, I lost cellular service and my phone just said “searching” where the new iOS dots appear. The lazy, internet sleuth that I am, looked up a series of steps that other people claim “worked for them”. None of these worked and left me with the new phone welcome screen, unable to reactivate my phone. I journeyed to the AT&T store in hopes that they might have a solution. The guy who helped me was the spitting image of Ronnie from “The Jersey Shore”, and he spent most of our conversation prep-dancing for what I imagine would be a smirnoff ice blurred evening for him. After giving me a serious of “you’re fucked” faces, he suggested I go to the Apple store, but be prepared to pay because of the crack. In an attempt to subvert the “accidental damage” fee (I’m using a lot of ” this post), I called Apple, spent about 2 1/2 hours doing the same steps I found on the internet, to no avail. Just as Ronnie’s facial gestures suggested, the apple associate basically told me you’re fucked.

Who does a girl call when no one else will help? Her daddy. After whine-explaining what happened, he came to the rescue! My iphone had insurance on it!! He knew that I am the clumsiest person on the planet- and got the insurance behind my back. Now I just have to wait 1-2 business days for my link to the world to arrive! Although its been about 24 hours I have noticed slight difference in my daywithout my phone.

1. My computer and house phone have not left my side. Because that is what my iphone is – a small, sleek clever computer and phone in one – now I’m stuck with two tedious, old fashioned pieces of technology (to overstate the brattiness that’s going on here – my mac has the new software which basically makes it a phone … I have the ability to text, go on the internet and do anything … especially play sims, and I’m still complaining. But hey – these are MY ramblings right?)

2. I HATE reading anything on my computer screen – if there are typos in my posts its because I can’t re-read what I’ve written … there’s something in my brain that blocks me from obtaining information from a computer screen. I could however enjoy anything on my iphone screen … therefore I had to buy a newspaper this morning. I really hope those things stay alive for a while, theres something comforting about reading the physical newspaper on a Sunday in bed – kids of the future will miss out on that.

3. Since my iphone wasn’t getting cell service – I couldn’t access maps to tell me how to get to the AT&T store! But with the help of my memory and some educated guesses – I found the store with little trouble. It scares me to think of having to go places without Siri telling me how to get there.

That’s all I can think of for now — but I’m sure I’ll be completely inconvenienced by my total lack of iphone in many more ways before the new phone arrives. I’m trying to take this as an opportunity to enjoy non-technological things, but its becoming clear there may be evidence of a slight addiction to technology on this end.

Have a wonderful Sunday WordPressers.

I almost gave up!

So WordPress, this blog almost became a member of my numerous other attempts to chronicle my life. >I blame my iPhone. When I finally overcame my fear of typing anything longer than a text on my phone – I downloaded the app, and my phone hid it on a mysterious second page of a folder. BUT I FOUND YOU

It’s way too late to attempt to convey any real information to you wonderful bloggers – so this is just a hey how are ya! until I dig out my lap top and lay some truth on you! YIKES! please note previous comment how late it is and excuse what I just said.

I love you fabulous people!