Hello friends and loved ones (actually – hopefully no loved ones). Well, the blog continues, although I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday. Alright – thats a lie, I had plenty of chances but I didn’t want to expose my fresh faced followers to the crazy that goes on in my cranium. The long and short of it is, I have struggled with generalized anxiety for the past few years – it all began when I got to college (a different story for a different day). A combination of therapy and medication did the trick, but eventually I got too busy for therapy and the fast acting medication had to suffice, which it did for a while. Since I left college, my attacks have decreased significantly but with the drama I created for myself because of my schedule and my complete lack of spine…. I had a pretty major attack that lasted about two days. The reason for the blog name – I am proud to say that I made it through without medication, and I am feeling really good about it.
While I won’t go into detail yet (I mean buy a girl a drink first), but I think its important to blog about this because so many people are embarrassed or ashamed of their mental disorders. Often times because there is not physical test, whether it be blood, brain or otherwise, that can “prove” that a problem exist, people tend to think they are made up. Amongst the drool that usually shows up on my facebook feed, one picture quote really stuck with me.
Depression is a chemical imbalance, not a character flaw
I believe, and science supports this fact. So I will relish in my victory 🙂
Anywho, today was my day off though I couldn’t really enjoy it because it means that I work on Sunday (all day). I have no idea why that scares me so much, maybe its because its all day, or because I’m not particularly fond of the people working on Sunday but I’m going to put on my big girl pants and make it through and just PRAY PRAY PRAY to whoever will listen not to be scheduled on Sundays regularly.
Hmm, lets see who I want to introduce you beautiful people to today…. we’ll take a walk on the wild side and meet my handsome pride and joy – Doodle. This little man is a 3 year old orange tabby. I went to college in RURAL PA, like cows and tree out numbered the people about 10 to 1. In this area, as with most farm areas I’m told, it is popular to release a cats unwanted litter onto a farm as a sort of real-time survival of the fittest. I am so thankful every day that Doodle happened to be one of the fittest. He was the lone survivor of his litter, and the only way he got found was because of his cry. This little cat has the cry of a full grown woman – so loud and so high pitched that I’m pretty sure it compares to a dog whistle. This cry is what saved him, and what allowed me to meet him and fall head over heels in love with him. He is literally my baby. I am sure that he is fully aware of how much I am in awe of him, and it has shaped his personality immensely. He is sassy and defiant in the cutest way possible. One example of his defiance … and intelligence – I will admit that I somewhat slack on keeping his literally absolutely pristine. I have one of those mega litter boxes with a top and door – so I don’t get a clear view of how full it is all the time. Doodle has found that the most effective way to express his frustration with me about this and other issues is to urinate on my bed. While most people would get very angry – all I can do is blame myself because I don’t keep his litter clean. Now before you all think I’m a sicko who sleeps in cat pee – I have a special protective covering for my mattress, and about a zillion sets of sheets. Anyway – that is the bright spot of my life… my cat Doodle.